Is That Your Parent or Your Sibling?

The challenges of large sibling age gaps

LHS freshman Daisy Hinton and her sister Keely are ten years apart in age.

LHS freshman Daisy Hinton and her sister Keely are ten years apart in age.

Zaniya Clark, Staff Writer

When one sibling is much older than their siblings, relationships between them may be difficult. While some may be only a year or two apart, other families with siblings may have more significant gaps between them, such as ten, maybe even fifteen years. An article posted by VeryWell Family stated, “Although shorter age gaps are more common than larger age gaps, five percent of births occur with age intervals as large as ten years”(Wisner). 

Tipple(second from the left) with her family, her older sister at her side (Nine year age difference), and her older brother standing in the top left (Seven year age difference). Photo courtesy of Tipple.

A significant age gap between siblings can affect the sibling’s relationship with each other, though depending on the siblings, the gap can impact the relationship in negative ways. According to Psychology Today, if the oldest is spaced far apart from the second child, the two children may not have many common interests and have a harder time becoming close. The older one may like playing board games and complain that they cannot play with their little sibling because the younger one cannot follow the rules. LHS sophomore Zowie Tipple said she experienced this as a small child.

“When I was younger, yes, they never wanted to play with me because they had other things to do. It’s always caused a block between us in a way,” she said. 

Like Tipple, sophomore Xydn Cline and his older brother have a fifteen-year age gap, which sometimes has a negative effect on their relationship.

“My relationship with my brother is pretty close but not as close as most siblings. I think it affects our relationship negatively. The time we get together is maybe a few hours a couple of times a month at most,” he said.

Cline and his older brother in 2013. Photo courtesy of Cline.

“Having my brother be so much older than me does affect our relationship, I don’t see him very often, and when I do it’s usually at family events. Overall, I think it’s a bad thing for our relationship but one good part is since we have so much time away we never argue or get into fights,” said Cline.

Wide age differences sometimes cause discord in sibling relationships. The older sibling may have to take on a caregiver role to the younger sibling which may cause resentment.

“Sometimes they try to act like a parent to me, causing stress in our relationship. Having a large gap between kids can cause strain between everyone especially when one is expected to babysit the younger ones growing up. This causes them to lose the ‘sibling’ bond and look at the younger as more of work than family,” said Tipple.

LHS freshman Daisy Hinton.

On the other hand, age gaps between siblings can be positive. LHS freshman, Daisy Hinton, whose sister is nine years older than her, said she learns a lot from her big sister.

“She already has gone through all of the things I’m just starting to experience and she can help me. She also looks out for me and makes sure that I’m okay,” said Hinton.

Child experts suggest that siblings with wide age gaps can be managed well within families if everyone tries to be flexible.

“It’s going to be nearly impossible to coordinate plans at times, and you’re often going to feel that one of your kids gets the short end of the stick. But understanding that this is okay, and just rolling with the punches, is going to help you relax into the experience a little more” (Wisner).